


Getting into butt stuff

by Daismo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bertholdt works in a sexshop, M/M, Prostate Milking, Sextoys, Toys, and Rainer loves it, he's a mountain of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 02:53:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8083906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daismo/pseuds/Daismo
Summary: Bertholdt works in a sexstore. He’s normally very calm and reserved, unless someone really really nails his personal kinks - then it’s like the gates of hell open and he turns to a sweaty mountain of smut.This fic takes place before Coco’s autocorrect fails fic.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [c0cunt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0cunt/gifts).



> So, [c0cunt](http://archiveofourown.org/users/c0cunt/pseuds/c0cunt) wrote [this amazing fic a while back](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6332152) and this chat happened:  
> Dai:  
> I have that scene in my head now, where some poor dude asks the usually super silent and softspoken clerk, but totally head on nails Bertls kinks, so Bertl goes on a sweaty talking spree.... I need to write a fic.  
> Coco:  
> Bertl is best sex shop employee, always able to give very good advice on toys to customers when they ask xD You totally need to write that Dai, it would be a tragedy not to write it!
> 
> Sooo, I did.  
> This is his birthday gift!  
> Love ya, you dork ♥

The doorbell rang, and Bertholdt looked up from the boxes he was unpacking behind the counter.  
A small, lean woman entered, and behind her trailed the most beautiful hunk of a man Bertholdt had ever laid his gay eyes on. Shame he seemed taken, given how devoted he trotted behind her, examining various shelves.  
He shrugged a bit, wiped away the sweat forming on his forehead, and started to check the new items in.

He had checked out two other customers and nearly finished on the boxes when the huge dude from before suddenly stood in front of the counter.  
“Uhm, do you think you’d have a moment? I think we need help..”  
The big guy trailed off, visibly embarrassed.   
“Su- sure thing.”  
Bertholdt needed to remind himself that customers, especially if in a relationship were off limits, and stepped out from behind the register, following Mr tall, blonde and handsome to his girlfriend.  
She held two boxes, and seemed slightly confused.  
“Annie, I spoke to the clerk, he can help you.”  
You, not us, Bertholdt noted.  
“Great. Look, my girlfriend loves vibes, and I have no fucking clue. What do I take, the bullet thing, or the really _really_ weird rabbit thing?”  
The girl, Annie, managed to look annoyed and confused at the same time, and oh, she had a girlfriend? Did that mean hunky dude maybe was single…? Bertholdt felt beads of sweat forming on his face, under his arms and on his back, and he schooled his expression. Focus, stay on task.  
“Ahem, it depends really. Though I’d definitely say no to any bullet vibe, unless you’re down to investing lots of money that could get you more power. When you say she likes vibes, do you know anything more specific? Maybe what she usually uses?”  
The blonde girl, Annie, tilted her head to the side, thinking.  
“She mentioned liking strong stuff, but the massage wand thing she has is too heavy for regular use?”  
Bertholdt’s eyes sparkled, this girlfriend seemed to know her way around vibes.  
“So, she owns a hitachi, I guess?”   
He held up a box and Annie nodded.  
“Yeah, these are bad boys, great things really, but loud and sometimes just too much to take.”  
He turned around and looked for a specific box.  
“Here, this is the doxy skittles. On high, it does get close to the Hitachi, but it’s less loud and it rumbles more. It can be used external or internal, too”  
Annie’s face broke into a thin smile, as she clutched the box close to her chest.  
“Thanks a bunch man!”  
She exclaimed, making a beeline for the counter. Bertholdt put the other two boxes away quickly and then strode to check her out.  
After that they left the store and Bertholdt realised he never had learned even the name of the man of his dreams.  
He sighed as he rubbed his forehead, noticing he needed a shirt change; his pits seemed to try and give the niagara falls a run for their money.

About three days later, on a slow evening, Bertholdt was thinking of closing up early. There only had been three customers in the last 5 hours, so he really felt like closing and having a nice, long, relaxing bath topped off with a well slicked dildo in his ass. It was friday after all, so he should try to enjoy himself. Right?  
Suddenly the bell rang, and his eyes shot up. He felt his face redden slightly and beads of sweat forming everywhere - it was the hunky blonde from before! Bertholdt would be lying if he said that he hadn’t fantasise about this man while he jerked off. Imagined how he’d finger him open slowly, massaging his sensible insides… his thoughts trailed off and he felt heat rising. He was certain his face was a nice shade of crimson and his shirt - that he had just changed about half an hour ago after he had a steamy exchange about favourite toys and uses with a regular - felt drenched and clung to his skin. Again.  
He couldn't help it. Whenever he was excited or nervous, both happened on a very regular basis, the sweat just poured out of him like he was working out in the rainforest.  
After his first week the owner of the shop had set up a tiny utility room fully equipped with a shirt rack, a washing machine, a dryer and an iron so he could do his work laundry there and would never run out of clean cloths, because there was “nothing worse than a sweaty bloke manning the counter in a fucking sexshop”. The owner's significant other (a sex toy designer) had called him a nut-job clean freak for this, but Bertholdt was really gracious.

The man silently walked up and down various aisles, sometimes stopping, and examining a box or a certain toy. He seemed flustered - years of working in a sexshop had Bertholdt taught the exact signs of embarrassment in people. This particular guy hunched over, trying to diminish his huge frame, so he appeared tinier, as if he wanted to be as invisible as possible. Not that it worked well. But he tried.   
Bertholdt was aware most people still linked sexshops to shady places and felt kinky for the sole act of entering one. The masses of just-turned-18s he had complimented out of the store because they had just come in for a dare was through the roof by this point.

He left the blonde man be though. Most customers felt even weirder when offered help.  
After maybe half an hour the hunk slowly trailed towards the counter, his face slightly reddened, but with a friendly smile as they made eyecontact.

“Hiii, I don't know if you remember me, but I was here a couple of days ago with a friend. You helped us, well, her.”

Bertholdt tried to fight back the rising thoughts of _well, to be honest I don't just remember you, I jerked off to you about every other night_ and keep a professional smile.

“Oh, the blonde lady, getting a vibrator for her girlfriend, right? Was it a good buy for her?”

“Yes, yes, they love it.” The other man's face calmed a little, the redness slowly fading. 

“Great! So, how can I help you today?”

The redness came back almost instantly, a rich shade of pink that spread all over Mr. big, blonde and beautiful.   
“Well, you know, I was wondering… if you could maybe give a few pointers? I, uhm, kinda, want to try something new, and, uhm, you know. Butt stuff.”

Bertholdt tried hard to not gleam with delight. The stranger was open to anal, which was his very own favourite thing in the world, ever.  
“Well, it depends. Do you wanna go for proper penetration? Or more of a prostate pressure? Or just stimuli on the outside? We have a wide range of toys and other things for all of that!” he slightly pushed past the other man, leading the way to the ‘butt stuff’ section; a wide array of plugs, dildos, vibrators and vibes were surrounded by different brands and kinds of lube, condom packs, porn and guides.  
Bertholdt saw the other man tailing behind him, still visibly embarrassed, but also perking up with interest as he was asked what his main goal was.

“I, uh don’t really know? I never tried anything like this before, but I heard it was, uh, nice?”

“Nice is not the phrasing I’d choose. It’s great. I mean, the start sometimes is difficult, but once people all over the weirdness that comes with the stigma, most feel it’s more intense and a better way to orgasm than anything they’ve ever tried before. You know, there are so many nerve endings in that area that it’s very sensitive, and if treated right, those nerves will launch a firework that makes it almost addictive. I mean, you have to relax beforehand, and take it slow, but it’s worth the work and the wait..” happen? The customer surely was completely overwhelmed by his enthusiasm…  
Bertholdt blinked as he caught himself rambling again. Why did this always happen? The customer surely was completely overwhelmed by his enthusiasm…  
“See, that’s what a lot of people have told me, but I never found any good advice on how to actually get started? I mean, it really does sound amazing? But, I mean, all they say is get someone to finger you first? See where it goes? It’s not like I can just ask you ‘hey, wanna finger my ass?’ you know?”  
“I’d love to”  
The guy went rigid over the mumbling that had slipped Bertholdt before he could stop himself. What in the name of all that was holy had he done?  
“For the love of.. I am so so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. I mean, it’s true, but dammit!” Bertholdt wibbled with his anxiety bubbling up, rocking his feet slightly as his face burned up and sweat dripped down his nose and eyebrows. He fucked up, and he knew it.  
The other man swallowed, and broke out into a nervous smile.  
“Maybe we should talk this out over dinner? Does tonight work for you? I’m Rainer by the way.”  
The extending hand shook Bertholdt out of his shock. Did he just hear that right? Was this man, Rainer, just asking him out after he basically had told him he wanted to finger him? Was this real life? He frantically looked around to search for hidden cameras, then looked back to the broad hand that was still stretched out, waiting to be shaken. Still baffled he finally took it, and nodded in disbelief.  
“Uh, I guess? I mean, yes! I get off at 5pm. I mean, my shift stops. I’m Bertholdt.”

“Great! I’ll pick you up here if that’s okay? Around half past?”

Rainer’s smile was wide and genuine, and all Bertholdt could do was nod.

“Well,then I’ll see you on later, Bertholdt!”

-

After several attempts by Rainer to pick a place to eat that Bertholdt had refused (for good reasons!), they had finally settled on a small italian place.  
They had ordered and exchanged small talk so far. Suddenly Rainer perked up.

“So, you wanna tell me what was wrong with the first three places? I mean, you don’t have to, but I’m kinda curious.”

Bertholdt paled a bit as he started to sweat again. He kinda owed his date an explanation though, especially after he had been so calm about it.

“Well, uhm… I may have puked on the asian buffet because I was nervous on my first date. It was a mess. They suggested I would refrain from coming back when it happened a third time. The burger place’s manager suggested the same when I accidentally knocked over some tables and smashed a couple into the counter when I ran away from a dude who tried to convince me to have sex in the parking lot. And then I might have brought a bag with samples from work that tipped over in the spanish place, and a kid picked up one of the toys and waved it like a toy sword.”

Rainer’s laughter boomed through the restaurant. “You scattered dildos over the place? That’s hilarious! I can imagine the mother was livid?”

“You bet she was! The kid went straight for the biggest one, as well. It was a fantasy line, too, so he waved a dragon dick the size of his arm over his head. In neon green. He screamed so much when his parents forbid him to keep the ‘alien saber’, they got banned too.”

Bertholdt couldn’t help but laugh himself. The whole situation had been so surreal, and apparently it made for a good story, judging by Rainer’s comical reactions.  
After that talking was easier, and the conversation flowed naturally through the appetizers and the main course.  
Then their talk shifted to former relationships. As it turned out Rainer had known he was bi for quite some time, but never came around to date a guy.

“So, how’d you get into anal?”

Taken aback by the bluntness, Bertholdt had to think for a while. He didn’t feel embarrassed for the first time in forever though, somehow Rainer made him actually feel good about himself.So he told Rainer how he’s known he was gay as a kid already, always looking after the boys and wanting to marry his male kindergarten teacher. How he’s fingered himself even before hitting puberty in curiosity, and how he now mostly didn’t even touch his dick to get off.  
The conversation went on like this, until suddenly the waiter appeared on their table, with the manager in tow.

“Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that your… topics are not appropriate for this joint. I’ll have to ask you to kindly pay and leave immediately. And choose a different etablissement for your next dinner.”

Rainer looked up in confusion, but Bertholdt realised how half the patrons surrounding them stared in a wild mix of disgust and disbelief. 

“I cannot believe we got _banned_!” Rainer laughed “we gotta be more careful, or we’ll have to drive to the next city for future dates!”  
Bertholdt just beamed at the implication of further dates.

After that Rainer had invited Bertholdt over, to at least enjoy the rest of their deserts that they had been able to take with them.  
The evening had progressed smoothly, and now they sat on Rainer’s sofa, snuggling while a movie ran in the background.  
They lazily made out, Rainer draped halfway over, halfway pressed against him and he felt so cozy and warm.

“Soooo, does your offer to finger me still stand?”  
Bertholdt was caught off guard again. Today was full of surprises. But he felt an erection that wasn't on the small side pressed to his thigh, and his own dick stirring to life. He stole another kiss before he mumbled “Yeah, sure, if you are?”  
Rainer nodded enthusiastically as he tugged off his shirt.  
Moments later they both were sprawled out naked, rubbing their dicks together. Rainer was huge, and Bertholdt was torn if he wanted to suck or ride that dick. He had promised a good fingering though, so he kneeled between those huge thighs, leaving a trail of kisses on his way down.  
He ignored the delicious bobbing dick for the time being as he dove further down to kiss the tight ring of muscles between Rainer’s glorious butt cheeks, softly lapping at it to soften it up. A string of soft moans told him he was on to something. His hand slid over the edge of the sofa and fished for his pants, grabbing a sachet of lube and a strip of condoms. Latter he set aside for possible later use, the small packet of lube he ripped open and poured some on the slick hole. It twitched at the sudden cold, and Rainer hissed, which turned to moaning again soon as Bertholdt started to prod his digits at the puckering hole.  
Carefully pressing and prodding opened the way up to one of his slender fingers entering the tight heat soon. He slowly curled and wiggled it, so Rainer would get used to the feeling and loosen up for more fingers.  
The moans turned to soft swears as a second finger found his way inside, aiding the other finger to widen and scissor slowly. Bertholdt was aware that he should leave it at two for today, but Rainer really seemed to start and enjoy himself, rocking back and basically sucking the digits up.  
Finally Bertholdt sucked in that rock hard cock bobbing in his face, and Rainer was a goner.  
As he worked that length with a skillful mouth his fingers crooked and searched for Rainer’s prostate, because he very much intended to milk this hunk dry.  
When he found it Rainer bucked up, screaming Bertholdt’s, name as his cock grew harder than ever before, before he finally came a thick load that Bertholdt hungrily awaited already, his other hand massaging the base of Rainer’s cock as he prolonged the orgasm as long as possible.  
“You know, I think we have to do this again. Your fingers are _perfect_!”

 

-

“Uhm, guys, you might want to consider a lock on this room?”

Marco came back into Rainer’s and Bertholdt’s living room, where they and his two boyfriends sat and chatted.  
The look of sheer horror on Bertholdt’s face made Eren and Jean jump up and make a run for that room - a tiny spare bedroom with a spacious bed with a mirror over it. The walls were lined with shelves, all of them full of toys in all sizes, shapes and colours.

“You guys got a fucking _playroom_?!? How the fuck can you afford _all of this_?!”

And that’s how Eren, Jean and Marco learned what Bertholdt does for a living.


End file.
